Sunday, October 27, 2013

Mix feeling

  Yesterday, i brought my juniors went to Jalan Pasar to buy electronic component and ask for guidance for her project. I know the feeling when you feel hopeless when there is no one else who can help you or guide you during the progress of final year project (FYP). Because of that reason, i sacrifice my sleeping time to wake up earlier to bring them there. After that when she mentioned yun yi they also got joined our annual camp. At that moment, i really have no special feeling even i know she did that to attract me. I not sure whether i change or they changed until i really tired of this kind of friendship?
  Since they came back to Malaysia, they didn't contact me at all even through facebook. This really make me upset at first. Slowly, i used to this kind of situation. Even US friend online also they didn't chat with me. I am the one always find them and chat. Just when they have problem and doubt, they only will come to find me. Sometime i really don't know what they treat me as? I don't mind to become trash can but sometime i want to find people to chat with to release out everything, they always busy and seldom reply. This makes me not dare to disturb them. But when they have problem, i sure will be there for them and try hard to solve their problem.
  Recently, i don't feel like want to facebook. I really tired of those things. Yup, when i saw them online, i feel like wanted to chat with them but i not dare to disturb them since they always busy with their studies. I miss them almost everyday but what can do? The life still goes on. Maybe just me only miss them, they never miss me like how i miss them. I tired of friendship and love. Where to find friend who really always be there for you when you need them? Five years of friendship finally changed. Even i really want to ask them come to join my convocation but i not dare and don't want to force them. Perhaps i can face the convocation naturally. Maybe that time many people will take photo together in one gang or one group.Maybe in the convocation is the last time we will meet each other. Everyone has their own direction and different way to go. Every moment in uniten will be in my mind forever, no matter happy or upset incident. I really envy those who have good housemates and stay until end of the semester. I hope i also can be like them but got one time i chased out by my housemates. I have no one to blame, just can blame myself of being stupid and not clever like others who always got the good result. Seriously, until today i still not yet ready for my convocation, i don't know how to face it naturally. 

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