Run to Survive

  This is the first time we went to another city other than melacca city. Three of us joining the charity run, had lots of fun. It's been year I didn't dance zumba, I appreciate that I still can dance.This charity run means a lot to me, I appreciate it when I still able to run and walk even though stamina is worse than before.This is the first time I not running alone during the charity run. I run with my colleague, the feeling is good when got people accompany you, I stop, he also stop. But another collegue running fast. Glad that I accomplished the mission.
  Throughout the run and this outing, I feel we still have gap and still don't understand each other.What I gonna do? Sometimes I miss yet sometimes scare to be hurt again.

Relationship

  Recently got someone treat me good. Our first date watch movie together. We knew each other is one year before. I was surprised after 1 year he told me that his parents like me from the first sight. I don't know how to respond, I just ignore it. Second date watch movie also, but together with his family. He said he told one of my colleague that he likes me.I just assume he kidding.Start from the second date, he keeps invite me go Muar, steamboat at aunty house and want to bring me for buy vege. I started to think whether I got feeling towards him. Saw his friend, I feel tension instead of say hi. My feeling already gone I think. More he did to me, I feel sorrow and don't know how to tell him. I am serious in relationship and I don't want later get hurt again. I just think all this is too fast, maybe can start from friend first. I also don't like to play people feeling. I not even know his Chinese name,  favourite and his story.
  Fourth movie at dataran, few people there, I feel freedom when went out with him, play car racing and basketball. Everytime I need help, he sure will pop out.Moving time, he also help me.Sick, she brought me food which I really touch.I don't know whether is this fate. I scare to hurt people, don't know how should I tell him.I also don't know how to ask him when he start to like me and what he likes about me. I  not sure my own feeling, maybe need few times outing but I appreciate to have him as my friend.

All About Me

  Today I MC, while sick, I am thinking about my relationship. Suddenly my friend bf told me his gf upset because sometimes I quite cold. Since what happen to me and US friend, I really believe that friendship also will not forever. I did put alot of effort to get used with our relationship, sometimes dream about her, I convince myself is just illusion even eveytime after dream i turn bad mood. I still don't know why I am so attached to her. Till today, I used to this kind of friendship. Before having bf, she still okay. After having bf, no news and message from her.
  From last friendship, I really get hurt so much. Maybe this is why I try to not too attached to other friendship as well. I used to say I will take care of friend till she found her Mr.Right,I will let go and I really did. But, her bf said she really care about me but I ignore her. Sometimes I need to protect myself from get hurt again, I know is selfish but I have to. Yes, sometimes when I review our photo, I also miss his gf but I need to control myself from not too get into it.You did said I did a lot of good thing to you and you won't forget and it make you touched.I just can say sorry my "cold" feeling hurt you. I also scare people treat me good and suddenly cold, that's why I also will avoid if people treat me too good because I scare will lost.i can understand your feeling.
  He is a good man, perhaps he can bring you happiness, I also happy for you. Wish both of you stay sweet forever. Yup, I am cold but anything still can find me

First blog 2016

  It's been two years long I didn't renew my blog. Today 2016 I write blog again. Last time I care whether got people comment or not, but now I don't care, blog is just for myself to express out my feeling.
  Today I went to hospital for follow up again, doctor advise me better don't take the heavy thing. He said he also don't want later need to do operation. The most scary thing is I scare It turns worse and cannot walk. This coming Saturday I join zombie run (charity run). This charity run means a lot to me. In fact, doctor advise better don't but I want to try. Can I still run or cannot run depends on this charity run. Perhaps I can finish 5km run and nothing bad happen in between.