Frontliner part 2

Since the mco until now, i never go back to my hometown. I guess already been 3-4months. Sometime will miss mother and my mother still don't know i work as frontliner now. If she know she will not allow me to work. The thing that i felt glad was during mco many people have to stop their work, some no income but i still can work as usual. Manager ready lot of things for staff to prepare in case we all been quarantine. Really nice and feel lucky to have this kind of manager, keep thinking about staff.
  We been busy with covid19 test until less time to rest. But still feel glad that we can help them by providing the test. Sometime i will think if really got positive case what can do. I thought it not gonna happen as we just help those people test before they started to work. In the meantime, i also got prepare for the worst. Since the day i choose this field, i already tell myself to accept whatever worst case happen. Yes recently got some case happen, i been close contact with positive case and need to be self quarantine until the day i undergo covid19 test. During quarantine time, many thing pop out in my mind, family and friends. I thought after unlock i can cross state to go back hometown but this suddenly happen. I got a friend who i really care for also pop out in my mind, i wanted to tell her sorry and no matter what happen, she still the important person to me. I know maybe we can't be same like lasy time but i just want to say lucky to know you as my friend. Sorry for sometime been hurting you but i didn't mean it. I know the reason behind it enough already.
Back to quarantine life, really boring, can't go out to anywhere just stay at home wait until the day to test. Many thing play in my mind. I have to prepare if positive, what should i do with family and plan for what should i do next. Now just can wait for the result out.

Frontliner part 1

It's been four years i never tupdate my blog Suddenly feel like write blog. During this 4 years, was not easy for me, got up and down. It's better to have up and down so that we can learn more different thing and how to make ourselves stronger. I always appreciate for thing that happen no matter good or bad, it taught me a lot how to handle each situation.
  There were a lot of changes in my life. Previously work in engineering field, then started own business and now changed to become frontliner. Since the pandemic happen, frontliner play very important role. They have to prepare for the worst if anything happen. I will always read the news and follow up with the news about statistic and also some quarantine news. Glad that now been reduced but still need to monitor. Actually myself also quite surprise with the changes that i made. What i doing now is non related with engineering field. In engineering field have to deal with electrical issues and devices whereas frontliner need to deal with patients. There are totally different things.
  I'm glad that i part of frontliner and got chance to help in covid19 test. Thanks to her for introduce me the job and thanks manager for gave me opportunity to work in this field. I really have no experience but you willing to teach. It's really different experience. I coordinate and when saw negative results, happy for them. Now become demand for workers to have test before start work. I really feel them when they said during mco they no work to do and no money to use. I been through that kind of situation before until no money to eat. To be continued...

Run to Survive

  This is the first time we went to another city other than melacca city. Three of us joining the charity run, had lots of fun. It's been year I didn't dance zumba, I appreciate that I still can dance.This charity run means a lot to me, I appreciate it when I still able to run and walk even though stamina is worse than before.This is the first time I not running alone during the charity run. I run with my colleague, the feeling is good when got people accompany you, I stop, he also stop. But another collegue running fast. Glad that I accomplished the mission.
  Throughout the run and this outing, I feel we still have gap and still don't understand each other.What I gonna do? Sometimes I miss yet sometimes scare to be hurt again.

Relationship

  Recently got someone treat me good. Our first date watch movie together. We knew each other is one year before. I was surprised after 1 year he told me that his parents like me from the first sight. I don't know how to respond, I just ignore it. Second date watch movie also, but together with his family. He said he told one of my colleague that he likes me.I just assume he kidding.Start from the second date, he keeps invite me go Muar, steamboat at aunty house and want to bring me for buy vege. I started to think whether I got feeling towards him. Saw his friend, I feel tension instead of say hi. My feeling already gone I think. More he did to me, I feel sorrow and don't know how to tell him. I am serious in relationship and I don't want later get hurt again. I just think all this is too fast, maybe can start from friend first. I also don't like to play people feeling. I not even know his Chinese name,  favourite and his story.
  Fourth movie at dataran, few people there, I feel freedom when went out with him, play car racing and basketball. Everytime I need help, he sure will pop out.Moving time, he also help me.Sick, she brought me food which I really touch.I don't know whether is this fate. I scare to hurt people, don't know how should I tell him.I also don't know how to ask him when he start to like me and what he likes about me. I  not sure my own feeling, maybe need few times outing but I appreciate to have him as my friend.

All About Me

  Today I MC, while sick, I am thinking about my relationship. Suddenly my friend bf told me his gf upset because sometimes I quite cold. Since what happen to me and US friend, I really believe that friendship also will not forever. I did put alot of effort to get used with our relationship, sometimes dream about her, I convince myself is just illusion even eveytime after dream i turn bad mood. I still don't know why I am so attached to her. Till today, I used to this kind of friendship. Before having bf, she still okay. After having bf, no news and message from her.
  From last friendship, I really get hurt so much. Maybe this is why I try to not too attached to other friendship as well. I used to say I will take care of friend till she found her Mr.Right,I will let go and I really did. But, her bf said she really care about me but I ignore her. Sometimes I need to protect myself from get hurt again, I know is selfish but I have to. Yes, sometimes when I review our photo, I also miss his gf but I need to control myself from not too get into it.You did said I did a lot of good thing to you and you won't forget and it make you touched.I just can say sorry my "cold" feeling hurt you. I also scare people treat me good and suddenly cold, that's why I also will avoid if people treat me too good because I scare will lost.i can understand your feeling.
  He is a good man, perhaps he can bring you happiness, I also happy for you. Wish both of you stay sweet forever. Yup, I am cold but anything still can find me

First blog 2016

  It's been two years long I didn't renew my blog. Today 2016 I write blog again. Last time I care whether got people comment or not, but now I don't care, blog is just for myself to express out my feeling.
  Today I went to hospital for follow up again, doctor advise me better don't take the heavy thing. He said he also don't want later need to do operation. The most scary thing is I scare It turns worse and cannot walk. This coming Saturday I join zombie run (charity run). This charity run means a lot to me. In fact, doctor advise better don't but I want to try. Can I still run or cannot run depends on this charity run. Perhaps I can finish 5km run and nothing bad happen in between.
 
 

冲上云霄~

  Lately, i watch this series and i am so addicted to it. When i watching this series, i saw an airport and it reminds me of them again. Airport is the place for people to achieve their dream and also the place where they have to leave each other ( family, friend and etc) to further their studies at oversea. We can see a lot of situation that happen in the airport such like people crying of have to leave their family. Besides, also got people happy when they saying goodbye to their love ones. I cry when i watch the girl have to say goodbye to her loves one and their relationship already changed and they will not be together again. Sometime we cannot predict what will happen in the future. But no matter what the decision we make, we must not regret about it. Instead of regret about the past, why not we waste our time to invent our future? It's right, the fate is already fixed but most of the fate is in our hand. It's depends on how we invent and appreciate it~